FINDING HOPE WHEN GRIEVING THE LOSS OF A MOTHER 

Losing your mom is usually devastating. The unique connection that exists between mothers and their children, no matter the age, 

But the thing is, death is not the only way one can lose their mother. Sometimes, the grieving process begins because your relationship has been emotionally fractured.

A mother’s love leaves a lifelong imprint—so does her absence.

The loss might come from a disease like dementia or Alzheimer’s, which removes the connection while she’s still present.

Or you may choose to break off the connection due to unresolved wounds, misunderstandings, and harm done that were never owned or recognized. 

Those losses hurt too, and cause grief and sadness in much the same way. 

Whatever the reason you are feeling the pain of losing your mother, there is still hope.

Your faith and your hope lead you to your healing.

Bring it back to hope—not removing grief but walking through it.

A Broken Heart Still Loving

The grief of your mom’s death does not and will not fade just because time has passed. The connection between the mother and her child is not replaced or forgotten. Your bond of relationship was formed over years of a loving relationship. That bond formed a lot of who you have become. It is foundational to your personality.

The love of mother has left a distinct imprint on your life. And that is the deep feelings f loss you experience. Your tears reflect your deep and meaningful loss.

Life After Losing Your Mother 

The waves of emotion can feel like a roller coaster, especially around holidays, like Christmas or Mother’s Day. This is a natural reaction, and, as much as the thought may hurt, it won’t always be this intense. 

The urge to call mom (or drop by her house) will pop up for most of us at unexpected moments after our mother’s death. The habit of reaching for the phone to tell her about our day, or share an inside joke, Good news, bad news, it doesn’t matter. If you had a deep connection with your mom, the habit of connection didn’t die.

Those moments may leave you feeling vulnerable, even if you’re not new to adulthood.  They can cause you to cry all over again. And that’s okay. This massive, life-changing loss doesn’t have the final say in your life. 

Coping with Grief and Loneliness Without Mom

There are, fortunately, several skills, tools, and resources to help and support us through the death of a parent we loved. Coping is like a muscle that can be strengthened in various ways:

Journaling: Write down special memories with your mom, and things you would love to share with her. Put your feelings and thoughts down on paper (or a digital journal works too). This breaks the internal bottleneck and will help release stored emotions, allowing you to move forward. 

 Self-Care: Taking the time to look after yourself is important. It’s not selfish to make sure you’ve eaten decent meals, stay properly hydrated, or see to any medical appointments you may have been neglecting. It’s also helpful to spend time with family members, best friends, and other loved ones. Losing a parent is hard. Especially someone so integral to so much of our lives. But you are not alone. There are others who care. 

Joining: Becoming part of a grief support group places you in the presence of others who are walking a very similar path as you, who can relate to your pain. There are usually instructional materials that will both empathize and coach you through the process of healing and navigating your new life. 

Counseling: Sometimes, seeing a professional therapist is an important step. If you have feelings of anger, regret, or guilt that are overwhelming you, a licensed counselor can help. If you were heavily involved in caregiving tasks, or if her loss was unpredictable and sudden, the transition is that much harder

What to Say to Someone Who Just Lost Their Mom

Sometimes, just being with someone who is grieving after their mother passed away is enough. Letting them know they’re not alone, and can talk with you, or just sit quietly together, is more helpful than words.

(Whatever you do, don’t say these things!!)

Sharing with them that they are free to cry in your presence, and mourn as they need to, is a gift to many.

Reminding them of Jesus promise of the resurrection, and pointing them to Biblical guidance and encouragement is a good place to start when you do offer words. 

Let them know that if they need help with ______ (make it something specific that you know you can pull off), that you’ll be happy to help. That way, the burden isn’t on them to come up with something for you to do for them. 

If appropriate, share that you’ve been through something similar and are available to talk when they’re ready.

Gentle Spiritual Encouragement

 “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18 ESV)

 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4 NKJV)

 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3 NKJV)

• God knows what it is to be brokenhearted
• God’s grief and love are connected
• God desires to heal your heart