HOPE & ENCOURAGEMENT FOR THE HEART OF A GRIEVING MOTHER

It’s not right. It’s not fair. But mothers are not exempt from grief. There are far too many grieving mothers in the world, and I want to take a moment to acknowledge that. 

Maybe you are a grieving mother, or maybe you’re close to a mom who is. 

The loss of your child, no matter their age, feels so heavy, and like it has stolen all hope.

I can’t make that better. But I will do my best to offer you some reassurance in this season. To recognize the why and offer some hope and encouragement to you. 

What a Mom Grieves

Losing a child causes a grief journey that feels unendurable. And the thing is, most likely, you’re here because your child passed away. You’ve had the funeral, and are just trying to survive each new day without your son or daughter. 

But maybe you’re here because your child had a life-altering accident or diagnosis, and everything looks different now. Your child is now going to be dependent on you forever, never able to be fully independent. You still love them to pieces, and it hurts you to see them suffer.

Either way, you’re grieving the future you thought you were going to witness. There are no more plans for college, career, marriage, or grandchildren. Random texts, calls, quiet moments of togetherness, and high-energy events are a thing of the past. They are no longer going to become the world traveler, inventor, artist, performer, or teacher you always thought they would be. 

You feel robbed, both for their sake and your own. Whether their death or diagnosis came when they were a newborn or a teenager, or in their 30s and beyond, doesn’t change the messy and painful way this will affect you. 

When a Mother Grieves

Every holiday is a reminder to a bereaved mother. Mother’s Day, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Independence Day…

But also birthdays and other meaningful days. If your child was a teen, you may be watching his or her friends going to camp, graduating from high school and college, and getting their driver’s licenses. You are glad for them, and yet, each landmark can feel hurtful, as you are reminded again that your child’s not going to have that opportunity. 

Grieving parents have many lonely landmarks, and they can feel overwhelming.

Words of Comfort to a Grieving Mother 

You are on a journey of grief. This will be your path going forward. But the path is not always in the valley. The pain of loss reflects the weight of your love for your child. And your love will always be with you. It will be both a source of joy and sadness, just as it would be if your child were still with you. 

You are NOT on this journey alone. It may seem like it at times, but there are others who have walked this path and want to help. They understand more than you might think, and they care more than you might think possible. 

Your grief journey will be unique because you and your loved one are unique. Sometimes your grief will show itself in tears, in anger, numbness, questions, or in peaceful assurance. There will be variety, and the different emotions and expressions of grief are all valid. There is no ‘right way to grieve,’ so please allow yourself the freedom to experience your own grief as it comes. 

Hope might seem impossible right now, but the thing about hope is that it’s strong. It doesn’t require you to feel it right now. Just being willing to believe that your pain might not have the final say in your life is the beginning of hope. 

Even in the darkest places, a tiny bit of light goes a long way. 

My words will fall short, and so will the words of well-meaning friends and family members. But the following verses have offered peace and hope to countless mothers walking through the grief of losing their child. 

Bible Verses for Grieving Mothers

These Scriptures show that there is a faithful Companion. One who is here to help a grieving mama (or anyone else) as they mourn the loss of their child. 

The Lord will stick close to you, so you don’t have to walk through this dark valley alone:

Psalm 23:4: Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 34:18: The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

God sees your struggle and will be your strength and healing:

Psalm 56:8: Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll–are they not in your record?

Psalm 73:26: My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 147:3: He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

He calls you to him, so he can give you the rest and peace you desperately need. Let him give you those gifts today:

Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

John 14:27: Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

It can be, at best, difficult to comprehend why God allows difficult situations. But God knows every detail of ours and your child’s life. Allow His Word to minister to your heart. At some point, you will have the opportunity to help another in the way you have been helped along your healing journey.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

There is explicit hope if your child was a believer or was too young to be accountable for that decision.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14: Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.