Grief Care: How to Support Someone Who Is Grieving

Losing a loved one is difficult. Someone you cared about and may have even seen on a daily basis is now no longer with you. It’s a drastic change, and it can leave us feeling hopeless. That’s why grief care is important. 

Grief care is a ministry to reach out to people who are hurting. Compassionately walking alongside them in their grief, and offirng practical help, encouragement and a listening ear. For Christians, it is also an opportunity to share God’s love through a ministry of presence.

Maybe that is right after the loss of a loved one. But it’s also important when the loss is further away, and they’ve hit one of the difficult times of grief, such as during the holidays.  Having quality care and support is important to the well-being of those who are grieving. 

What Does Grief Care look Like?

Essentially, grief or bereavement care is providing support, comfort, and encouragement to someone grieving a loss. You do not have to be a professional counselor to participate in grief support activities. Some ways you can help a person dealing with grief and loss include:

• Listening to them when they need to talk to someone
• Sharing encouraging verses from the Bible and reminding them of God’s love for them
• Helping them find the coping strategies that work for them
• Preparing meals for them
• Helping with chores and errands
• Sending them encouraging cards and letters

 When they don’t feel like they must bear the weight of their sadness alone, people can begin to move forward. There will be reminders, and feelings of loss will fluctuate in intensity. But knowing you are in their corner is a great gift.  

Grief Care is a Ministry of Presence

The grief process is one of the most difficult times in a person’s life. Walking alongside people as they work through their loss is not easy. Both of you will experience challenging thoughts and feelings. But the gift of creating a supportive environment for someone to begin taking steps toward healing cannot be underestimated.

Talking about death and grief can be messy. It’s often hard to process the loss of a spouse, family member, or friend.

Take a step out of your comfort zone to support the person. Listen to them and really take in what they are saying. Resist the urge to do a lot of the talking and to give advice. Most of the time, the person just needs someone to listen to them with empathy. 

Providing Christ-Centered Grief Care

It’s easier to minister to someone who knows the Lord and who believes their loved one was saved. You are able to use scripture to comfort them.

Even if the person is angry at God for their loss and grief, they have a spiritual foundation–something that can be built upon. They may feel anger or resentment, but because the person has put their faith in Jesus as their Savior, there is a basis for encouragement and hope.

If the deceased person was saved, you can remind them that they are in Heaven now and that they can find hope and comfort in knowing that.  If their loved one was not a believer, it is still important to bring gracious Jesus into the conversation.  He is with them in their journey and, in time, will bring healing to the griever’s broken heart.

Ministering to a Non-Believer

You should always lead the conversation with love. Remember that God is gracious, and He is far more knowledgeable about where the deceased person is than you are. It’s okay to answer their questions honestly from your Christian perspective, while acknowledging that only God knows their heart.

If their loved one was not a believer, do not compound their pain with harsh certainty. Instead, keep reminding them that they are loved by a merciful God. Remind them of the thief on the cross who at the end of his life was promised paradise. Don’t offer false hope, but allow for the possibility. In most cases, we do not know for sure what happened in a person’s heart in their final moments.

Grief often makes people look into spiritual things, whether they are Christians or not. Providing aid on the grief journey is a great opportunity to share the gospel with non-believers. It is a time when their hearts are often more open to faith and scripture.

Supporting People Through Different Types of Loss

There are some types of loss that are often accompanied by added layers of complicated feelings. When walking alongside a griever dealing with these circumstances, an extra layer of compassion and care can make a big difference.

Anticipatory Grief

There are certain losses that come with significant lead time. The diagnosis comes, symptoms build, and a loved one is lost little by little over an extended time period, caused by various forms of dementia, cancer, and other diseases that steadily advance until claiming the life of a loved one. In those cases, the griever often begins to mourn well in advance of the loss. And just because someone has had to cope with anticipatory grief, does not mean they will have an easier time afterwards.

The Loss of a Child

The loss of a child is so heavy, and so far outside of the expected order of things, that its burden is unique in ways most of us will never be able to fathom. Caring for both grieving mothers and grieving fathers after the loss of their child requires compassion and patience. Especially when there are other family members who need care, parents can put up a good front and seem to be healing and moving forward out of necessity, even when they still need time and encouragement.

Suicide Loss Survivors

It’s never easy to accept the loss of someone you love, but when they are grieving a suicide loss, their grief may be accompanied by additional layers of trauma, guilt, confusion, and unanswered questions. We must be especially compassionate with those experiencing grief from this type of death because of the traumatic nature of the loss.

It’s important to support the people who are grieving and remember that the circumstances of a person’s death does not erase the life they lived, or change the promise of God’s grace to His children.

The Lasting Impact of Grief Care

Grief support can be incredibly rewarding. Over time, you may see how your presence has helped someone navigate the changes brought by loss, and begin rebuilding their life.

As they heal, their needs will change naturally, and this may affect how your support role looks in different seasons. While your role may lessen, your impact on their life (and their impact on your heart) will last. This is the nature of caring.

How Can You Begin Helping Someone Who Is Grieving?

Whether you’re comforting a grieving friend or considering a grief support ministry in your church, you don’t have to have all the answers to make a meaningful difference. Here at Hope Beyond Our Grief, we want to equip you to effectively minister to those experiencing a loss.

Thinking about starting a grief ministry? Our free How to Start a Grief Ministry guide will provide you with a practical overview of key steps to forming a healthy grief ministry in your church.

Get your free Start a Grief Ministry Guide here.

Additional Resources For Grief Caregivers: