THE COMPLICATED GRIEF SUICIDE LOSS SURVIVORS FACE

 Grief is pain beyond comprehension for those who have not yet felt it. It can feel hopeless, and it is a sobering realization that you will never see the one you love in your earthly life again.

Grieving a suicide is a uniquely complex form of grief. There are a lot of emotions and a lot of complexity that you may not have after a natural death. 

Hope Beyond Our Grief has come out with a book specifically for people with loved ones who died by suicide. Here are some highlights of Hope For Your Tomorrow. 

The Trauma Of Suicide Loss And Our Emotions Surrounding It 

The suicide of a loved one will bring up many different emotions at the same time. The feeling that you weren’t there for them, betrayal, anger at them, and guilt are all different emotions you may go through in a shockingly small amount of time. Many times, these are unique to grief after a suicide. It can be especially painful and difficult to reconcile with all of these emotions in the midst of mourning your loved one. 

Losing someone to suicide can cause traumatic grief, particularly if you were the person who discovered them. There’s the normal shock and trauma of the loss of a loved one. But then, suicide loss survivors experience this complicated grief that is compounded by why and what-if types of unanswerable questions, and so much more.

Most of the time, death by suicide is unexpected. Even if there was previously a concern, they may have seemed to be doing better or even told you their mental health was improving. Sometimes this could be because they have already made peace with their decision, or possibly because they have gotten very good at hiding their pain.

The unexpectedness of the death can add to the pain that surviving family members and friends feel. We wrote Hope for Your Tomorrow to help you find hope after grief if you are struggling. 

What Makes Suicide Grief So Complex?

Sometimes, survivors of suicide loss do not feel they are entitled to fully grieve as they normally would. They may feel left out of the grieving process because of the stigma of suicide. It is hard for people to know what to say or how to handle themselves around someone who is dealing with suicide grief.

The intense grief remains, however, whether those feelings of loss are acknowledged or not. The pain and grief are real, no matter the cause. Complicated grief occurs when the grief is minimized because of the suicide. Unresolved grief that gets suppressed will crop up in other aspects of life, unfortunately.

Another big difference is the unfortunate glamorization of suicide in popular media. It’s important to support the people who are grieving. We should remember that the loved one’s suicide was one bad decision in their life. It does not define their entire life.

The Bible And the Impact of Suicide on Salvation

There is also the question of whether the person is in Heaven or hell. As long as they have accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, the person is saved and will be in Heaven. The suicide doesn’t change that. 

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

John 3:16 NIV

“And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day.”

John 6:39 NIV

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” 

Romans 8:38-39 NIV

These verses are pretty all-encompassing, wouldn’t you agree? If you belong to Jesus, nothing can separate you from him.

Including yourself.

The death of a loved one by suicide may bring up aspects and an intensity of grief that are unexpected, particularly as suicide is stigmatized within many circles. But this decision, usually made from a place of mental instability, does not counteract God’s salvation. It’s not a special class of sin. Jesus paid the price for all sin once and for all, thousands of years ago.

Including that one. 

For more about what the Bible has to say on grief, check this out.

Support for Suicide Loss Survivors

All who are affected by the loss of a person they cared about will need support. In the aftermath of a suicide loss, even more so. They need encouragement that it was not their fault. That they will move forward, and after some well-used time of mourning, they will be able to thrive again. 

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and SAVE are organizations that have resources for both suicide loss support and tools for getting active to help prevent others from taking this drastic route. 

Contact us today to find hope beyond grief for yourself, your church’s grief support group, and the congregation at large. The information is so valuable to those who have lost a loved one to suicide. You can order a copy of the book today.