GRIEF IS HARD. YOU NEED TO KNOW YOU DON'T GRIEVE ALONE

The death of a loved one is an experience that is unlike other life events. Grieving is frequently surprising and unwelcome. Loss is also permanent, which can make it feel like the pain of grief will last forever. This is why it’s important to seek out community and grief resources, like our grief support group curriculum.

What Makes Grief So Hard?

Why does grief hurt so much? Well, there’s the obvious part, the fact that you’re coping with the loss of someone you love or at least care deeply about. And coming to terms with your loss takes time. But experiencing grief includes much more than that.

Uncomfortable Facts about Grief and Grieving

It’s unexpected. Death is often unexpected. Even if a loved one is sick or older, you cannot predict exactly when the end will come. When you lose a loved one, your whole world changes in an unpredictable instant. You can go from having them by your side to feeling like a piece of you is missing.

Grief is especially difficult when you lose someone that you live with or that you see every day. Your routine or home can feel like a constant reminder that your loved one is no longer with you.

It’s not what you want. We dread losing someone important in our lives. Not something that we wish for, and it’s not enjoyable. It’s easy to feel hopeless and devastated.

It’s permanent. When you break a bone, you know it’s temporary. You understand that it will heal and you won’t experience the pain and discomfort forever.

Unlike many things that bring us pain and discomfort, death is not temporary. After losing a loved one, there’s no way to reverse that loss. This permanence causes most people to think that they will feel the pain of the initial grief forever, even though that’s not the case.

This is why you need constant encouragement from the people around you. Community is important so that you can find hope during grief.

Healthy vs Complicated Grief

Confronting the reality of death or any loss takes you on a journey you might not have been prepared for. Grief often involves a lot of big feelings. Your response to a significant loss matters.

Healthy grief (after an appropriate time) moves forward. It is sitting with the pain and emotions, but not setting up camp and living there. After a reasonable amount of time, you move forward into new things. Grief may (will) always be there, but the sting gets softer. The ripple effect calms.

Complicated grief develops when unresolved grief is stuffed down or when you get stuck in the process and can’t find your way out.

People with complicated grief are often dealing with unresolved conflict, burdened with extra responsibilities and decisions, and other issues stacking on top of the actual bereavement. Many people feel overwhelmed and buried under the weight of everything, making it harder to focus on and process any one piece of the puzzle.

You Are Not Alone in the Grieving Process

Know that, while lonely, you are not alone during grief. While the grief experience is unique to each individual, there are others around you who have experienced a similar loss. Whether that’s a family member or friend, or even a mental health professional, you can find and talk to someone who understands, at least to some degree.

Finding community in friends, neighbors, and others close to you is helpful when you’re grieving. It’s more personal; they may even have also been close to the person who died, allowing for a deeper level of compassion

Additionally, going to grief counseling and attending grief support groups can provide you with tools for handling the loss of a loved one. These are designed to help you work through normal grief with other grieving people who get it.

You can ask your church to consider offering one of our courses for those seeking help to grieve well.

Support for Grief and Loss

We offer a bible-centered grief curriculum called “Why, What If, If Only.” This study included DVDs, guided notes for group leaders, and helpful resources for group members. Powerful testimonies are included in each session throughout the study.

It is an excellent curriculum for grief groups to work through.